Dear Friends,

In my last email I wrote about our habits and how we can begin to shift them.

This week I want to share about a very specific habit that I recently transformed (at least for the time being) and how it offers me the inner silence and stillness needed to develop deep awareness and touch joy.

Before I went on my 6-week retreat to Plum Village in October, I had a pretty strong habit of listening to podcasts anytime I wasn’t listening to anything else. For example, when I walked the dogs, when I showered, when I drove, etc.

After my time at the monastery (where I did not listen to any podcasts or watch any television) I realized how much space those podcasts were taking up in my head and thus how many minutes and hours I missed being present for what I was doing. Even though the shows were supportive in nature – they were mostly Buddhist or self-help related – they took away the time and attention that my mind needed to settle and deeply experience my life.

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Dear friends,

This time of year we often create “New Year's Resolutions” in order to fix behaviors or areas of our lives we feel aren’t “right.”

I’d like you to consider a different way of looking at the habits that you no longer enjoy.

Start by getting to know one habit and why it is the way it is. What good feeling is this particular habit trying to offer you (even when it misses the mark)? If it weren’t offering you something, you would not be doing it. For example, you might find yourself scrolling social media more often than you like. Looking deeply, you may find that scrolling provides you with a feeling of relaxation, at least at first.

Being gentler with your habit energies (the energies that push you to continue a habit) and offering them more space to express what they need, can already begin to create a shift. We rarely win a direct tug-of-war with our habits (a fact you probably already know).

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